Yes yes, I know. I know that I failed to write a daily post. And I felt so bad about it. Did I? Yeah, a bit. I was trying very very hard to write one. But I ended up staring at the blank post for an hour. I had ideas, and started to write a few sentences. Minutes later I deleted them. Did you ever experience this? So I guess. I am the only one. Weirdo.
I suppose my brain isn't fully working. Well, of course it works but not completely. Or maybe because of my lazy attitude. I prefer watching movies and sleeping rather than spending some of my time writing even a short and simple post. Seriously, not a good example and role model for my future students. Sorry guys!
So I notice, it is not easy to change. I couldn't find my motivation to write daily. I would rather spend my time to read your posts. I admire every word of your writing. Meaningful.
Change.
Easier said than done. I could say that I wanted to write daily on my blog. I could also say that I wanted to be a better person. But without effort, without doa, without being committed to my intentions, they are all useless. I need determination. And I know for sure that I need to be really clear of what I want to achieve, what I want to change.
I seriously want to improve the way I dress. Not in a bad way of course. I have been thinking to properly cover my aurat. And for now, I have been doing it in stages. I know it's hard. But it is not impossible either. I realise how 'jahil' I was before. Wearing shirts that didn't even cover my butt, shirts that were so tight showing my body figure and 'tudung' that revealing the chest. And still, up till now, there are things that are very difficult to change, to resist. Sometimes I feel lost and so weak. I don't exactly know where to start. I have been following Maria Elena's posts, and I admire her. How she has changed to a really better person. I am aware that some celebrities have now found their ways. The right path. And whenever I read their stories my heart skips a beat. Then came a thought that whispered to me, 'It's now my turn'.
So tell me. What should I do? Tell me, how can I 'istiqamah', how can I maintain my determination. And most importantly where to start?
Understand the beauty of covering the aurat...in shaa Allah u will istiqamah....
Start anywhere. :) Ustaz Hasrizal repeated this following point so many times, that I've heard of before tapi degil and malas nak ikut: Just Do It. Allah will make things easy for you once you put in the first effort, inshaAllah. This is with schoolwork, too, any task yang kita nak buat, and asik cakap nak buat, tapi tak buat2. Ilmu tanpa amal means half of faith (iman) belum complete,
Peringatan untuk diri sendiri sebenarnya. :( Don't think too much, just buat, and you will find that it becomes easy, inshaAllah!
neesa_jun and Aneesah, thank you so much. I'm still trying now. Well I guess, I should start anywhere as Aneesah said. But I have a problem. How do I stop having doubts in myself?
Maybe this can help:
لا حول ولاقوة إلا بالله
There is no might nor power except in Allah.
You may doubt yourself, but you can never doubt Allah, kan? :) The trust in Him will be your source of strength, inshaAllah!