Dear Adik,
Maybe it's different now. During the time Kak Eda and your other brothers and sister were growing up, Abah would always be around his kids just to make sure that his kids would behave and study well. Abah was a soldier, and everyone knew how strict Abah was in disciplining all his children. Sometimes we were too scared to do the wrong things, and all we knew was "buat salah kena marah". But then, no matter how strict he was, we were still aware how great he was in educating us all. He was willing to do any part time jobs just to ensure that our family would have a better living. And all the money he got, only meant to be used for his children and wife.
Throughout all the years we had, we rarely saw Abah buying a new shirt, or a new trouser or anything new for him. He didn't care if his shirts didn't look so branded, or it looked too old-fashioned for him. It really didn't matter. And now Abah has retired from his military service after 22 years old serving for the government. He found it really hard at first to stay at home without doing any work. He insisted to find new job. Indeed, he has now. But what he is currently doing is not fully agreed by Ma, and our siblings. We are afraid if that job makes him tired, and most importantly we do not want the feeling of being away from him haunts us all. Not seeing him for days makes us losing all the quality time we had before. Well, it has been almost five years now. And we get used to the way Abah works. Abah too has never failed to find some time to be with the family.
Maybe it's different now. During the time Kak Eda and your other brothers and sister were growing up, Abah would always be around his kids just to make sure that his kids would behave and study well. Abah was a soldier, and everyone knew how strict Abah was in disciplining all his children. Sometimes we were too scared to do the wrong things, and all we knew was "buat salah kena marah". But then, no matter how strict he was, we were still aware how great he was in educating us all. He was willing to do any part time jobs just to ensure that our family would have a better living. And all the money he got, only meant to be used for his children and wife.
Throughout all the years we had, we rarely saw Abah buying a new shirt, or a new trouser or anything new for him. He didn't care if his shirts didn't look so branded, or it looked too old-fashioned for him. It really didn't matter. And now Abah has retired from his military service after 22 years old serving for the government. He found it really hard at first to stay at home without doing any work. He insisted to find new job. Indeed, he has now. But what he is currently doing is not fully agreed by Ma, and our siblings. We are afraid if that job makes him tired, and most importantly we do not want the feeling of being away from him haunts us all. Not seeing him for days makes us losing all the quality time we had before. Well, it has been almost five years now. And we get used to the way Abah works. Abah too has never failed to find some time to be with the family.
Kak Eda could still remember how concerned Abah was to his children's examination result. Everytime Kak Eda's result was posted to home, Abah would have always wanted to be the first to see and analyse what Kak Eda had achieved. Abah would take the previous examination result and he would then make a comparison between those two. He would take a pen and mark the arrow sign to show whether or not Kak Eda's result had improved. Abah would surely give advice and motivate Kak Eda. Kak Eda could still remember when Kak Eda got a bad result for this one subject. All Kak Eda could say to Abah was "Kawan kakak ramai lagi dapat rendah". And as usual, Abah would reply "Tak payah tengok orang bawah pada kita. Tengok orang atas kita. Kalau orang lain boleh, takkan kita tak boleh". Kak Eda would just shut my mouth up. So embarassing to myself.
Adik, it's true. Abah might have no time to do such things to Adik. But Adik has to remember, Abah has sacrificed a lot, to Adik and to our family. Be a good son. You have been pampered. Everything Adik wants, Abah would give without questioning. That has caused you to be more 'degil' sometimes. It's now Ma's job to keep an eye on you. It's Ma's job to attend your school meeting. Can't you see how our parents have been so tolerant to each other playing their roles to make sure that each one of us does not feel isolated or ignored.
Anyway, Kak Eda didn't say that Kak Eda was a good daughter. But I always try to be one. I did so many wrongdoings as well. And everytime I did wrong Abah would always come to Kak Eda, and tell me how he loved me. That he scolded me because of he loved me. That he was afraid if anything bad happened to me. Being a daughter who is labelled as "Anak Abah" is not easy. People will look through you and see what is so great about you. And I hate it most of the time.
Adik, today is the the day that you should remember. When you made Ma Abah feel so helpless, and they cried for you. That they felt like they have failed in growing you up. Do you really want to be a bad person? Everyone loves you. And, all Kak Eda wants is for you to be able to choose what is right and wrong, to fulfil the 5 prayers sincerely, and to be a good son to Ma Abah. Try not to make the influence of your friends becomes so dominant in your life. Sometimes, they bring nothing good to you. That is why, choosing a good friend has never been easy. Remember that.
I know you won't know that I wrote this for you. Maybe one day, you'll find this and understand how today's incident can change you to be a better person. InshaAllah. I would always love you. And that would never change.
14 August 2011, 10.59 PM
With love,
Kak Eda
Anyway, Kak Eda didn't say that Kak Eda was a good daughter. But I always try to be one. I did so many wrongdoings as well. And everytime I did wrong Abah would always come to Kak Eda, and tell me how he loved me. That he scolded me because of he loved me. That he was afraid if anything bad happened to me. Being a daughter who is labelled as "Anak Abah" is not easy. People will look through you and see what is so great about you. And I hate it most of the time.
Adik, today is the the day that you should remember. When you made Ma Abah feel so helpless, and they cried for you. That they felt like they have failed in growing you up. Do you really want to be a bad person? Everyone loves you. And, all Kak Eda wants is for you to be able to choose what is right and wrong, to fulfil the 5 prayers sincerely, and to be a good son to Ma Abah. Try not to make the influence of your friends becomes so dominant in your life. Sometimes, they bring nothing good to you. That is why, choosing a good friend has never been easy. Remember that.
I know you won't know that I wrote this for you. Maybe one day, you'll find this and understand how today's incident can change you to be a better person. InshaAllah. I would always love you. And that would never change.
14 August 2011, 10.59 PM
With love,
Kak Eda
Kids - they will learn about lives somehow.